I provided a scenario in my last post about forgiveness. If you missed it, it would be a great idea to read it now, click here.
In summary, it’s hard to forgive but we have to, to move forward.
Unforgiveness can hold you down, eat up your peace and leads to other sins, like malice, plotting evil against someone in your mind and so on. When unforgiveness enters our hearts, it erodes our ability to love, bond and trust, making us cold, bitter and hard. It kills our ability to develop relationships and fellowship with others – even the Lord God Himself! We hold unforgiveness in our hearts to hurt the one who first hurt us, not realizing that we are the ones who suffer the most! Forgiveness and letting go can be hard but also keep in mind that holding on to grudges inhibits growth and can affect you deeper than you think.
For those who have been seriously hurt, there’s nothing you can do as a friend that can make them forgive the offender. Your comfort and prayers matter but the issue is an internal one that needs a greater force to intervene. It takes the grace of God to forgive, and if you don’t have that relationship with Him, it will be really difficult. In that scenario, the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak..bring your body under subjection to the spirit, and you will have the strength. How can you truly move forward with God if you’re holding onto to a grudge, it’s not possible.
God’s ultimate goal for your life is not comfort but character development. Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality. Having to forgive someone does either 1 of 2 things, and it doesn’t matter if the person is a close friend or a random stranger you met on the streets. It either takes you 300 steps back on your walk; because you’re holding on to the hurt, or it takes you to a deeper level with God; because you really have to cry out to him to release your heart, you cannot do it on your own.
Over time I’ve learned that in every situation, there is a lesson to be learned. So I focus on what I can get from the situation, rather than what the situation was. Because I know if I didn’t get let down there or insulted here or pushed away over there, then I wouldn’t see a new side of God I have never known before.
“But then if you aren’t forgetting are you really forgiving?” Yes! But when you start to dwell on what had happened to you, then you’re opening fresh wounds. If a person has insulted me, I can’t forget the insult. But I can choose not to let the insult affect me
In the same vain! Forgive. It’s not meant to be convenient. Yes in REAL life it’s hard. It has to be hard.
Do you love God? If yes, then you will keep his commandment. If inside you feel tired, and it’s time for praise and worship, will you still sing praises? If yes, then apply the same attitude to forgiveness!
Learn to forgive because you at one point in time also hurt someone. Learn to say sorry because you are not so perfect. I have learnt over the past few years that saying sorry doesn’t reduce the hairs on my head. We also make mistakes, it’s part of life; learning, growing and maturing. I urge you to say sorry to whoever you have hurt today. I urge you to forgive today. It may be very hard but try and ask God for the grace and learn to let go. I think about all the things I’ve done, but God still forgives me and shows his mercy, love and grace each day. Do the same. It’s not impossible.