When we get in a relationship with someone, it’s easy to try to make them who we want them to be especially the people that are close to us. One of the best thing I have learnt is that God didn’t bring people into my life to make them just like me. God made us different on purpose, different personality, strengths, looks and different maturity levels.
The mistake we make too often is that we try to fit people into our mode, trying to mould them to someone we want them to be. The problem is, we are not the potter, God is. Really, we can’t change anyone, we can encourage them, we can pray for them, we can lead by examples, but only God truly changes people. When someone doesn’t have our same strength, and we are working overtime trying to make them just like us, all that does is frustrate us and brings stress and tension into the relationship. You have to give people room, to be who God wants them to be. If God wanted us to look alike, think alike, have the same strength and personalities, He would have done so. The same God that created the bird also created the butterfly. God likes variety. You may be trying to change someone that doesn’t have your strength, your kind of personality, your goals, yet God made them like that on purpose. You’re fighting against who they really are. You’ll enjoy your life a whole lot more if you let people off the hook and accept them for who they are.
Because we are always trying to change someone, there’s always an underlying tension. It says, “there’s something wrong with you, you are not like me, you are inferior”. We may not say it out loud but with our action it comes out settling on how we treat people. But the mark of true maturity is that you accept people the way they are, The way God made us is that we are drawn to people that have strengths that are different from ours. The truth is no person has it all. We have to make allowances for people’s weaknesses.
Our job is to love and accept people, to let them be who God expects them to be. God puts people in our lives that are different from who we are on purpose. They do not need to be fixed or straightened; they need to be accepted and loved. Just because they are not like you doesn’t mean they are less than, most likely they have strengths that you don’t have. They are good at something that you are not good at. God is the one that puts the talent, the creativity and the strengths in people.
Are there people in your life you’re waiting for them to change and then you’ll be happy, as soon as they get into your mode, you’re going to give them your approval? Now take this in the right way, THEY MAY NEVER CHANGE. The good news is you can change, and it doesn’t have to bother you. Don’t focus on what you don’t like about that person, focus on their good qualities.
Here’s the key, GIVE PEOPLE ROOM TO NOT BE PERFECT. Instead of complaining about what you don’t like about a person, try a different approach and start telling that person what you do like about them. People respond to praise a lot better than they respond to criticism. It’s amazing what people will do when you see the best in them when you honor them. It not only strengthens the relationship, but it will let that other person rise higher. You can push people further with your honor, your acceptance and approval or you can withhold it and keep them back. They may not be where you want them to be but God is the one directing their steps. Don’t have the attitude that you’ll love them as long as they succeed on your timetable. God’s plan for their lives may not be the same plan, you have for their lives, but I can assure you that God knows what He’s doing and has a better plan.
Don’t withhold the blessing, keep pouring in the honor, encouraging, respecting and God will get them to where he wants them to be. No one person can give you everything you need, you’ve got to focus on the good qualities and don’t be frustrated by what they don’t have or what they can’t give you. Like that old saying goes, the grass may look greener on the other side but it still has to be mowed. Do your part and start pouring in the honor.
If you start accepting the people that God has put in your life, you’ll also rise higher and become all that God wants you to be.