One thing that is essential to living a meaningful life is the books you read and the friends you have. So I’m going to be giving book suggestions and talk more about friendship as time goes.
I keep referring to this book countless of time. The first time I read it was summer 2014, and I must say it’s an excellent read!!
“Between busy schedules and long days, expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to give gifts “just because,” to linger in our embrace. The things that say “I love you” seem to either not get said or not get through. This is a book about saying it—and hearing it—clearly. No gimmicks. No psychoanalyzing. Just learning to express love in your spouse’s language.”- Gary Chapman
So the concept behind this book is that many relationships and marriages are falling apart not because the partners don’t love each other, but because they aren’t speaking each other’s primary love languages. The book also reflects the complexities of relationships today.
Dr. Gary Chapman’s starts this book with the success and failures he and his wife have experienced in their marriage for more than 45 years. His life experiences, plus over thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish this book to help readers discover their love language in their singleness and to understand their partners by showing readers simple and practical ways to communicate love.
The book outlines five ways to express and experience love, that the author calls ‘love languages.’
The main 5 are:
• Physical Touch
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
Each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Chapman suggests that to discover a love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, analyze what they complain about most often, and what they request from their significant other most often. People naturally tend to give love in the way that they prefer to receive love. It is also possible to find another person’s love language by asking those same questions. Chapman suggests that peoples’ love languages do not change over time, but instead develop and need to be nurtured in different ways
Now everyone has one primary language, some might have two. So my question to you is, what’s yours? Do you even know what it is? Do you agree with it? If not, why? If you don’t know, here’s the link to the quiz:
Here are my results:
I would have thought I would score high on physical touch, but this result gives a pretty accurate result on my love language. Gifts for me is not as important as the other four. I’m huge on communication too, which explains why quality time stands out for me.
I asked few friends to take the test as well, to get an idea of their love language, and find out if it’s a gender thing or if it’s personal and differs from one individual to the next. Their results were:
This is really random. It’s hard generalizing based on these results but I think, the major ones that stood out for the females were quality time and acts of service. Females are very emotional beings, so we basically want ALL and not just one haha, which may explain the randomness. What do you think?
I would have thought the males will score really high on acts of service (loving their partner cook, and do all basic things to show love) but words of affirmation seems to be their major love language. So ladies, praise your man, encourage him and make him feel good with your words every now and then.
Knowing your love language, as well as your significant other will definitely help you understand yourself and the other better, communicate effectively, build a strong relationship that can stand the test of time and keep both your “love tanks” full.
So what are yours? I’d love to know. Do men generally have a different love language to women, or is it completely random?