relationships

Excuse Givers

excuses

As humans, we are fantastic at picking from a wide range of excuses to limit our capabilities. This is in all areas of our lives, from going to the gym to studying for an exam. We even make up excuses to not reach out and be nice to those who are in need.

People use excuses to rationalize their actions regarding their circumstances, their actions toward other people, and regarding certain events. However, excuses are often the primary reasons why people are unable to accomplish what they want out of life.

Ever met someone that constantly gives an excuse for their actions? Someone that always has an answer for every situation? Someone that can promise to do something for you but at the time of event they are nowhere to be found? Someone that has mastered the art of saying sorry to cover every act assuming sorry would heal all things and then we all can move on? To be honest, sorry can do more hurt than cure especially when you know the offender’s motive all along. There are a lot of people pleasers who say sweet nothings but when it comes for time to perform, they amount to nothing.

There are also people that know they’ve done something wrong but won’t address it or give you heads up by communicating it beforehand. When they eventually bump into you, that’s the right time they know to address it and swiftly move on. They know at that instance, that you may be busy and won’t give them full attention.

Building a friendship or relationship shouldn’t be forceful. breast cancer pink shirtsNo one is stupid. Someone can nod and say it’s okay and have forgiven you but they don’t rate you. You’ve not invested any social capital in their lives. So even when you say sorry, they are so quick to tell you it’s okay and it’s fine because they are not moved by you. To be honest, you really don’t matter much. They won’t spend their time and energy trying to address empty barrels because they already knew from the get-go that the barrels were empty; they don’t need you wasting their time.

Don’t feel the need to impress people. Especially when you know from the onset that you might not make it or do what they demand. Don’t feel because they’ve been there for you through ups and downs, you need to repay them even when you don’t want to. The heart communicates. People know when an action is genuine or not.

For example, you ask someone to get some items from the dollar store on their way to your house for a party and then they tell you the dollar store is on the other side of town and they might have to take an uber there and then come to you but it’s fine they will do it. After all is said and done, they don’t even show up anymore. They see you the next day somewhere else and then apologize saying that their mum sent them errands and when everything was done it was late.

Yes, people do this. First, they try and guilt trip you by giving excuses of how the dollar store was on the other side and you know that’s just a cover-up. You know this but still, give them the benefit of doubt. The best they should do was message you about not being able to make it because of an errand but they totally don’t communicate that with you and once they bump into you they feel it’s the best time to start explaining.

This post is about soul searching. I want you to be aware of your actions and see how it communicates to the next person. Most people are concerned about self and are not willing to go the extra mile for others. They are not willing to be selfless but it’s only when you go the extra mile even when it’s inconvenient that you build social capital. No one likes excuses and even when it seems impossible they want you to provide a solution.

solution

In the scenario above, if you couldn’t make it to your friend’s house, you could have asked someone else to drop off the items, or better still communicate that you won’t be able to come over. Then, find out if there is anyone else that can assist. Don’t just leave people hanging.

One of the best habits you can build is to proactively make a commitment to stop making excuses. Stop excusing your failures or your procrastination and start taking the steps that are necessary to get what you want out of life. It’s a new month. Two months in 2019 are over. It’s March, a month of resurrection, regeneration and refreshment. Spring those dead dreams up again and turn every excuses into solutions.

 

What are some of the excuses you’ve given or heard that you know could be addressed better? Leave your comment below and let’s discuss!

Love,

Emi

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